Ramadhan Mubarak 😁

Ramadhaaan is hereee. For those of you who don’t know, Ramadhan or Ramzan, is basically when Muslims fast for 30 or 29 days (it depends on the moon) to learn self control, built a better relationship with Allah (swt) and gain empathy for those who don’t have the same blessings as us.


I’m taking a break from WordPress because of it.
See y’all in a few weeks!

The Outstanding Blogger Award

Before I begin this post, I just have to say that in my previous post I basically mixed up two fairy tales; Snow White and Cinderella. Snow White was the one staying with the seven dwarfs and Cinderella was the one whose fairy god mother (or in my story, the fat little mouse) gave her the glass slippers (or again, in my story, the white sneakers), remember? In the beginning of my post I wrote that Cinderella was hiding from dwarf and ended up with brand new white shoes for the ball (or disco party?). If you haven’t read it, then check it out here.


Saumya from Draw-Write-Inspire recently nominated me for the ‘Outstanding Blogger Award’ and I’m, indeed, very grateful for her. She’s an Indian teenage Potterhead and you should definitely check out her poems because they’re pretty good!

Like Snape approved good.

(See? I’m a Potterhead too 😉)

Rules:

  1. Provide the link to the creator’s original award post (Colton Beckwith RPC)
  2. Answer the questions provided.
  3. Create 7 unique questions. Nominate 10 bloggers. Ensure that they are aware of their nomination. Neither the award’s creator nor the blogger that nominated you can be nominated.
  4. At the end of 2021, every blog that ping-backs the creator’s original post will be entered to win the 2021 Outstanding Blogger award.

Questions provided by Saumya:

Who inspires you? Who do you aspire to be like?

In all honesty… I don’t have really have an inspiration. I aspire to be my best self and I have a mental list of whom I don’t want to be like. Like Dolores Umbridge. I certainly don’t want to be her.

Which of your accomplishments are you most proud of?

Last year, a lot of things went downhill including my mental health. I accomplished some things this year like learning to say no and taking out time for myself, communicating more, and basically I learned self love. I’m proud of myself for all the effort I put in and I’m better than before now, so they’re definitely accomplishments ✨

What’s the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?

I’ve stood up for what was right even if it meant risking my grades and getting detention. I never really got detention though.

If you had 24 hours to do whatever you wanted in your dream city, what would you do?

My dream city is the city I currently live in (does that make sense?). I’m not really a fan of travelling and I rarely travel. If I had 24 hours to explore my city, I’m pretty sure half the city would be new to me.

Do you believe in ghosts? Why or why not?

I believe in Jinns because it’s in my religion 🤷‍♀️

If you could time travel, what year would you go to?

I would go to the year I was born and see how mischievous and adorable (lol) I was as a baby.

My Nominees:

  1. Saba Niaz Siddiqui
  2. Rinum
  3. Wardah
  4. Ace
  5. Ayesha
  6. Binte Bashir
  7. Silver Stone

My Questions:

  1. What is that one word which you use a lot?
  2. What’s your catch phrase or pet phrase?
  3. Have you ever burnt something while ironing?
  4. One of your favourite quote/book quote.
  5. What colour was/is your school bag?
  6. What is your favourite book?
  7. Are you a Potterhead/Harry Potter fan?
  8. If you could summarize 2020 in one word, what would it be?

It was fun answering Saumyas questions and you should head over to her site next 😉

Aight, that was it! See you in the next post 👋👋😁

Cinderella – A twist to the story

Cinderella locked herself in the closet. One of the dwarfs was out for blood and apparently she was pretty enough to be murdered. She was breathing heavily as she pressed herself to the back of the old wooden closet and sneaked a peek outside through one of the holes. She held the bottom of her unclean skirt in one hand so it wouldn’t show through the holes.


A door creaked. Someone entered the room. Cinderella held her breath. Whoever it was was making… a scurrying sound? She risked another look outside and was relieved yet surprised to see a fat gray mouse sniffing around the room. A small smile appeared on her face as she watched the mouse’s belly move up and down as he went from one corner to another. Finally, it saw her. His eyes twinkled and she thought she saw it slightly smirk. It made its way up to the closet door and… did it just winked?


It sure did because the next moment the tender hearted Cinderella was twirling in air, her clothes lightning up and new white sneakers on her feet.
“Be back before midnight,” the mouse squeaked.

Tidbits #2

Tidbits #1


And I live to see another day… Yaayyy 😁😁

I write a lot but often times I’m very hesitant to share them and I end up with waaaaay more drafts and deleted posts than the published ones. Soooo, I compiled a couple of random bits and pieces after suppressing my anxiety and here they are-


“Stranger”

I’m stranger
than most of the strange things
on this strange planet.


“I live there”

You say it’s all in my head
but unlike you,
I live there.


“Anonymity”

I’m anonymous,
but not by choice.

Society forced me into hiding.


“Don’t stop”

Don’t stop speaking
because if you do,
my mind will start yapping
and that hurts
more than you.


“No progress”

Days and nights
pass by
and I remain the same.


“and I comply”

Stop worrying, you say.
Be confident, you say.
It’s going to be OKAY,
you say.

Don’t listen to them, my mind says and I comply.


Anxiety

She reached under the table and wasn’t surprised to see her brother hiding there. She sighed. This was the fourth time this month that her brother had panicked and hid somewhere. She didn’t know what his problem was. He would get frustrated as soon as someone asked him why he would disappear. Was a blood thirsty monster trying to murder him? Or was a lighting-quick mutant ninja from one of his video games after him? She had no idea. Whatever it was, it was sure frightening him. It never occurred to her that those threatening creatures might be inside his head and not in actual sight.
Anxiety, he called it.

Freedom at last

Today was a long day
I think I’ll write it out
I open my notebook
Oh where oh where is the pen?
Ah found it
Turn the page
Turn the page
Turn the page
Finally,
A blank sheet
Staring at me
Urging to spill it all out
And I of course will
Because at this point,
It’s my only friend.

I begin
Creating letters with my pen
And those letters turn into words
And words into sentences
And I keep on going
Writing and writing
Venting and creating art
The half empty journal keeps sticking it tongue out at me
And I keep filling it with words
Words from all the languages I speak
Words that give me power
And relief
And sometimes anxiety
But nevertheless,
I love them

I keep on pouring everything out
My thoughts creating intricate patterns on the page
And my emotions becoming less frightening
When I see them right before me.
I keep on
Pouring
Everything
Out.
I keep on
I keep on writing
I continue
And I do not stop
Writing
And I keep on
I keep on
Writing
Setting everything free
And writing
Freedom
Writing
Words
Freedom
Writing

The page has sucked me in
I can’t seem to stop
I keep on writing
I can’t stop
My hand keeps moving
My fingers tightening their grip
On the smooth surface of the ball point pen
And I…
I keep on writing.

//3rd March 2021

Right?

It hurts
but doesn’t it always?
It’ll get better
because doesn’t it always?

-1st Feb


I changed my blog name to ‘Teenage Bell pepper’. If you look closely in the URL, you’ll see I’ve spelt ‘bell pepper’ with only one ‘l’ because… I may have created a new site with double l in the URL but then ended up just changing my original site’s URL…

Anyways, Welcome to Teenage Bell pepper! Make yourself at home 😉

A lovely dumb head – fiction

I wrote a little of this months back but then never got around to finish it. I know this might be a little disorganized (?) and it’s definitely something I can improve. But till that lucky day comes… happy reading!


A lovely dumb head. That was the name my best friend had for me. Everyone else called me a dumb head but she didn’t. Because I had begged her not to. She promised to add the adjective ‘lovely’ with the offensive word. Then we became best friends.

We sat together in each class and we shared our books with each other. She shared her grilled tuna sandwich with me while I gave her half of my Peanut butter one. We had the same colored water bottles and school bags and we both had sworn to always have the same favorite color: Green.

She was the sugar to my cake, while I was the salt, as she often mentioned. I said that salt was too salty and I didn’t want to be the salt in her ‘friendship’ cake, but she reassured me that salt, nevertheless salty, was always necessary. Till the age of 12 I didn’t mind being her salt.

****

“Don’t call her that word again, you human. ” She said standing protectively in front of me.

“But you call her that too,” the boy shrieked.

“I am very much polite, young man. You can be a bit more courteous and add the word ‘lovely’ with that uncivil word as not to hurt my dear friends feelings.” She said in a relatively calm and civil voice.

“A lovely dumb head, eh?” A laugh escaped his mouth before his words did.

“Yes. Now leave us alone. ” My best friend got back to her usual self again.

As the boy walked away, I felt happy for having such an amazing friend.

****

Lilith was my best friend and I’m ashamed to admit that she was also my only friend. At school we were known as dumb and notorious. Dolores and Lilith. I wonder why my parents had chosen such a name for me. Maybe, they too like Lilith’s parents, didn’t want a daughter. Oh well, Mum says she and dad love me so I don’t need to worry about being a girl instead of being the better one – a boy.

****

I grew up with parents who didn’t had time for me. My mum was a gym instructor and my dad spent most of his time outside looking for work and doing odd jobs. He never really had a stable job. At least, not till people became such racists.

Not having much of my parents attention made me feel worthless.

Unfortunately, my grades got more attention than I did. My parents liked me, but not my grades. I knew I was worthless, but my parents liked me and earned for me and fed me and when late at night, both of them would open the bolted doors and enter the house (notice how I didn’t say home?), the sound of my mum shouting at me for yet another thing that I couldn’t manage to do actually soothed me. I’d rush to the door and hug her.

All the things I wanted to complain about would immediately slid away from my mind and all the gilas and shikwas I had planned to do would leave me alone in the brief hug me and my parents exchanged.

I guess I should have been upset for being compared to others and for not having understanding parents, but I wasn’t.

I’d store in all the little things my parents and everyone said to me and during the day, I’d cry in front of Lilith. But when mama and papa would come back, all those miseries would be silenced.

****

At school everyone called me a dumb head. The name had stuck with me since one of the teachers had erupted with anger at seeing me draw instead of writing down some dumb verbs.

Completely frustrated with being scolded nearly everyday for ‘not paying attention’ I shouted back at the teacher. I had no intention of being rude out loud but my anger got better of me. And guess what? The teacher said I was dumb.

I was a ‘d u m b h e a d’.

After being called a dumb head throughout elementary since then, I was convinced I was truly a useless and worthless fool who was only a thorn in the bush and just a useless person my mum and dad fed.

Since then, I was randomly called a dumb head. Every moment I needed be reminded of how stupid I was.

****

There were only two places I went; School and Lilith’s house. After elementary ended, I was no longer allowed to go over at Lilith’s house. Apparently, I was different because I was an immigrant and that made me bad. Being different made me bad. Being a guest in their country made me bad.

How welcoming.

Me and Lilith had always been inseparable but when when I couldn’t go over to her home, she started spending time with other people. People other than me. People who’d call me dumb head even when I got better at studies. People who called making others laugh by making fun of me ‘humanitarian work‘.

You know all those books you read where the shy protagonist’s only savior slowly starts to fraternize with the enemy and the protagonist’s is left all alone and finally learns to stand up for herself? Well, that’s literally my story.

I lost Lilith. The only person who would call me her ‘lovely dumb head’. The only person who’d understand me. My safe space was no longer a safe space. What made it worse was that she left. She left even when I didn’t give her any reason to.

And to ‘comfort’ me, my parents told me life is unfair. And I was being unfair to them by not studying and wasting my time moping around.

But who could tell them that the only person who motivated me to study was the person I no longer had?

I was just a dumb head again.

I was no longer lovely.

What I learnt from this: life is unfair but that’s how you’re always learning. Also, I shouldn’t rely on others. I have to be my own savior. I know that’s not the complete lesson I learnt but I don’t think I’m ready to accept the other bitter truths just yet.

Regards,

A Lovely work-in-progress Dumb head.

5th February

The silent ones
aren’t without stories

and though they silenced you,
we still possess a voice.

It’s Kashmir Day today. Let’s all pray for all those people being oppressed in IOK and all those other humans on this planet who don’t have a voice. Let’s pray for them and hope for the best. No good action is little and no voice should be left unheard. #Kashmir


The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “You will not enter Paradise until you have faith and you will not have faith until you love each other. Shall I show you something that, if you did, you would love each other? Spread peace between yourselves.” (Sahih Hadeeth)


(Image taken from Pexels Photos)